Stunned.

This doesn't seem real. 

I should've known when I woke up this morning to a bunch of CNN notifications on my phone (somehow I allowed push notifications on that app and no others) that something was wrong.  But I got a call that cleared the notifications, forgot about it and went about my morning business.  I listened to a CD on the way in to work.  Then I logged into Facebook and looked at my news feed.  Holy shit.

I googled news stories.  Shooter is reported to be a parent of one of the students.  No, a son of one of the teachers.  2 confirmed dead.  No, 10.  No, 24. Maybe more. 18 of them children.  Maybe more. 

I read the posts.  Gun control.  Mental illness. Why do we not know who these people are until they start shooting.

My thought: why the fuck does this keep happening.  I know from mental illness, and yet I could never in a million years fathom walking into a school and shooting kids.  Kids.  Jesus Christ.  But there are people who do.  Today, someone did. And it won't be the last time. 

I absolutely think we need more resources for people with mental illness.  But will some completely fucked-up person, hell-bent on killing, seek out help? I absolutely think we need stronger gun control.  The 2nd amendment was adopted in 1791 and obviously the nature of our weapons has changed tremendously since then.  It is all too easy to get a gun. But I fear that anyone will still be able to find one if he or she is willing to work hard enough for it.

Is there a solution?  Or will we just wake up every few months or weeks and find ourselves crying for strangers?