I had night terrors for the first time in a long time last night. Every so often, I have this dream where I wake up and feel like my breath is caught in my throat - like I need to scream but I can't. Last night, that "mute" dream was mixed with a drunk driving dream and a feeling that an ominous figure was in my bed. Freaky. And since I was at my folks' house, there was no Lupita to calm me down.
Every so often (okay, okay, every day), there is a song that perfectly sums up how I'm feeling. Maybe it's because I listen to too much music. Is that even possible? It reminds me of a line in John Irving's Hotel New Hampshire where Lilly Berry laments that she can never write an ending line as good as that of Fitzgerald in Gatsby, so why even bother? (And then she throws herself out a window, naturally.) I feel like I can never write a song that captures my emotions as well as the songs that get stuck in my head on a day-to-day basis. So here it is: the song of the day (click the title for the lyrics):
Wish I May (Ani Difranco)
That's kind of a depressing song. So in the spirit of this blog ("trying to grow, trying to let go"), I'm going to change the song. Could it be that simple? Well, I'm going to try.
Solsbury Hill (Peter Gabriel)
Take that, evil dream. And take that, depressing soundtrack. It's MY head, after all, and I get to decide what song plays on repeat.