So maybe I spoke too soon. I guess at the core I'm still technically happy. But recent developments, procrastination, exhaustion, etc. have all made me realize that I still have a LOT to work on.
Let's tackle one - procrastination.
My father likes to use the phrase "procrastination is a thief." But to me, procrastination is the comfort of a warm bed and a cozy pillow. It's the belief that everything will get done...eventually. I need to change my perception. I need to stop looking at procrastination, and its accompanying comfort, as a friend. The garden isn't going to weed itself - the weeds are just going to keep growing. The laundry isn't going to magically get done, it's going to keep piling up. And the play that I'm (not) writing is going to languish on my laptop until I get some motivation.
So what to do? I've been putting things off for so long I don't even know how to force myself to motivate. And there's a trade-off - I could go to dance class tonight, or I could go home and do laundry. Maybe I need to treat myself like a 5-year-old and come up with some sort of reward system. Or maybe I need to realize that I'm a grownup now, and the reward is the mere fact of getting something done. Something's gotta give, and in this case it's gotta be me.