Everything happens for a reason. I have to believe it - otherwise I get stuck in a spiral of "what if I hadn't done this/said that/gone there..." But sometimes it seems like the little, or not so little, choices that I make put me on an unavoidable path away from where I think I want to be. So what then? Do I give up, figuring that it must have happened for a reason and it's all part of the master plan? Or does it just mean I have to fight harder?
I'll let you know when I figure it out...if I figure it out. In the meantime, I'm going to step more carefully. Because some steps are a lot heavier than others, and push us a lot further off the path that seems right.
The metaphor that pops into my head is that of playing backgammon - once you take your hand off the piece, you're not allowed to move that piece back to its original spot. No takebacks. Which feels unfair when you're 7 years old and still learning how to play the game. Unfortunately, I'm not 7 years old anymore. No takebacks.