Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Things I've Learned About Death and Dying This Week


When dealing with the death of your grandma, here are some helpful tips I've learned this week.

1) It's not okay to be mean to strangers just because your grandma is dying. They don't know that. Try being overly nice instead so you can get rid of them faster.

2) If you live next to someone who is dying and she didn't like you when she was conscious, she probably doesn't like you when she's unconscious. Stop coming over. Send flowers or a card instead.

3) It's ok to cry.

4) It's not comfortable to be crying all the time, so try to set some time aside for just that, and then you can get some stuff done too. Including eating. Don't forget to eat food, or you might die too. (that's what I learned from Noodle.)

5) It feels really awful to plan a funeral when the person's still alive, but you kind of have to. I'm lucky I'm a stage manager.

6) Never underestimate the power of singing to the sick...or in your car for yourself.

7) If your grandma's dying, your mom gets to be more upset about it than you do. You'll probably get your turn eventually and then you might wish you had been nicer at this time.

8) Smiling helps. Even if you don't want to at all. It actually makes you feel better to smile and be kind than to frown and be mean.

9) Don't forget why you're there. I mean that on many levels - you're there because you love them, but you're also there to be helpful. Etcetera.

10) You don't have to wear makeup (unless you want to).

(The photo was taken about a month ago.)

3 comments:

Jen said...

I'm so sorry, Jackie. It's wonderful that you get to be there, both for your grandma and for you mom. I hope you guys can all find some peace. <3

Libby said...

I'm just sending love to you and your family and many many psychic hugs.

NoHoJax said...

Thank you both so much.