Fault

I was with a friend last night talking about my car accident (he didn't know that I had crashed my car), and I said something that I remembered I had wanted to write about here. It's basically that things are a lot easier to accept when they're your fault.

When my car broke down last year on the way up to Mammoth, I was outraged. In the carless couple of weeks that ensued, I was frustrated and annoyed. How dare my car just decide to stop working? The bastard. Even though I was still going to get it back, it was an inconvenience and I was pissed.

Then I totaled my car. Which was completely and totally my fault. Of course I was upset, but I got over it a lot faster. Is it that it's easier to be angry at the world than at ourselves? I tend to think that I'm harder on myself than I am on anyone else, so I would think that would extend to fault, as well. But I guess not.

I'm trying to figure out if there's a way to channel that quick recovery time to things that are the fault of the universe, or other people, or gravity. I guess I could just assume that everything that goes wrong is probably, in some way, my fault.

I don't think that'll cause any issues at all.